Telephone Telefollies

telephoneHave I mentioned lately how much I dislike the telephone?  This is not a phobia or even anxiety over the use of a phone, and not aimed at any version of the telecommunications device in particular.  It’s a dislike of the device in general.

Most people openly wonder about my sanity because they LOVE their telephones and spend 73.6% of their lives talking on their cell phone, or playing games on their smart phone, or checking Facebook or e-mail on their phone.  I don’t do any of the latter and avoid doing the former.  I just don’t like telephones.  Cell phones in particular.  My friends berate me for my refusal to join The Collective.

My home telephone is not a cell phone.  It’s not a traditional land-line phone either.  It’s called an Ooma.  It’s a VOIP phone which uses our internet connection to provide telephone service.  It works okay … most of the time.  But it does like to interrupt a call with chittering noises that block all vocal transmissions if it thinks we’ve talked long enough.

Part of the reason I don’t like the telephone is that it requires verbal communication.  Not my strong suit.  I like to be able to review my words, edit if needed, insure that I’m communicating what I intended to say.  People go psychotic on me if I stop to mull over, review and rehearse in my head each sentence before I say it.  So I spend a lot of time just listening.  Most people seem to like that.  They’re perfectly happy expounding on their lives and aren’t really all that interested in mine.

I like e-mail.  Writing is my native language.  I do a lot of writing, and most people find it informative and entertaining.  Most.  Some will find something to argue with me about in even the most innocuous conversations.  They’re just cantankerous.  Which leads to a one-sided “conversation” because I’ll withdraw to the “just listen” position and wait for it to be over with.  If I nod occasionally and grunt, or “hmm”, now and then to show I haven’t gone narcoleptic; they’re happy.

I sometimes joke that I’m a reclusive old hermit dwelling up on a mountain side, as much removed from “society” as possible.  Except … it’s not really a joke.

About Doug

Jesus follower, writer, gardener, Sci-Fi fan, Beagle herder, occasional author, mountain man. My dogs think I’m a super-hero.

2 thoughts on “Telephone Telefollies

  1. well, I like living on this mountainside too, and dont miss lots of people being around. Its peaceful and quiet and we share it with birds, and mother natures creatures. Perfect

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